Can we stop being hypocrites for a change?

       I have read a lot of reviews about the movie 50 Shades of Grey even before the actual movie came out. Most of the reviews had talked about how bad it is and how people should not watch it because it’s immoral. There is even one review from a Psychiatrist that warns parents to not let their kids watch the movie because “There’s nothing grey about Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s all black.”

         I have to admit, I have read the book. About 10 times actually. It’s not so much the BDSM that makes the book appealing for me. It’s the whole control thing. Personally, I think that no matter how strong-willed, assertive and independent a woman is. Deep inside herself there is a need to be taken care of, to be loved, to be protected, to be controlled.

        Yes I strongly believe in Feminism, about gender-equality and empowering females to be as strong and productive as the male populace. People, no matter what the gender is – whether male, female, gay, lesbians or whatever - is entitled to fair employment, to equal opportunities in life. But I also believe that by nature, females are created physically weaker and emotionally stronger than males. Thus, we need them to protect us physically. And they need us to support them emotionally. Much like how Ana and Christian’s roles were in the book. Which I think, is what made the story so phenomenal.

     With the rise in Feminist groups and female liberation movements worldwide, it’s now become a taboo for females, such as me, to admit that I need someone to take care of me. Because I do not want to be perceived as weak. We females now need to show how strong and independent we are, that we do not need men to make us happy. Even if that is not what we feel. It’s not the sex scenes that made it controversial. It’s the fact that someone was brave enough to discuss a taboo subject, to put into words feelings that are kept well hidden, desires that are tamped for fear of being judged.

          Just like any movie that came from a book, I tried to clear my mind of the story plot when the movie started its opening credits. I try, as much as possible, to look at it as if I have not read the book. 

            From a cinematographic standpoint, I think the sex scenes were shot as artistically as possible. For a story anchored on sexual perversity, on the taboo subject of BDSM, and on the fact that 2/3 of the book depicts the character’s sexual exploits, the movie’s sex scenes does not even comprise 1/3 of the whole film. Those scenes were there because it played a vital part in the story as a whole, but it is not porn by any measure. It does not make the people watching it grab the nearest available partner for a quick romp. It showed a darker side of things that many of us is not aware of, because those who are aware are not willing to come out for fear of being demeaned and belittled, which is what a lot of people are doing right now.

           Let me just ask this question, we watched American Sniper, does it make us want to shoot people at random? We watched ConAir, does it make us want to kill for the people we love? We watched Taken, does it make us want to stalk our enemies to ensure our beloved family is protected? We watched High School Musical, does it make us want to break into a song? We watched Cinderella, does it make us want to look for the crystal shoe? The answer is no! Because our minds know the difference between a movie and real life. We are sane enough to know that it’s not right to kill, that singing after a ball game is weird and that there is no crystal shoes. What’s so different about 50 Shades of Grey?

            BDSM or Sado-Masochism does not necessarily mean evil. It’s a lifestyle choice. Who are we to judge? My friend likes scratching her feet in a net before she sleeps, some likes using the same blanket over and over without washing it. Some people likes brushing their teeth BEFORE eating, some do not brush their teeth at all. Again, it’s their choice, it’s what makes them happy. They have a right to it, as we all do. It does not necessarily mean that we will be doing the same. It just means that they exist, we just do not want to acknowledge it.

         People say that the movie teaches the young generation that abusive behavior is glamorous and cool – no, it does not. In the first place, the movie is not for kids. The R-18 rating ensures that only adults can watch the movie. Adults, in general, are perceived to have a mind of their own and thus, not easily swayed by outside influences such as movies. Of course it’s not for kids.

          Most critics say that they will not allow their kids to watch the film. Of course they won’t. No one in their right mind will because it’s not for kids. Personally, I will not tell my kids to watch the film. But I will also not refrain them from doing so once they become of legal age. One, because I do not have the legal right to say no anymore, and two, I do not want to impair their decision making skills.

          At the end of it all, it boils down to values. If we teach our children early on the differences between right and wrong, to show them that love means nurturing and not hurting the people you love, that sex can be special between two people in love, then we need not fear that they will get hurt or make the wrong choices. Because if we do it correctly, no movie can make them do what they are not supposed to do.

          If anything, the story of Ana and Christian gives me hope. It tells me that there is light at the end of the tunnel. That no matter how bad your past was, we all have a chance to make it better – given the right motivation. That no matter how bad you think you are, there is still a small glimmer of goodness inside you that is only waiting for the right time, or the right person to manifest and show itself. That even if you did some bad things, there is still a chance to change for the better.

           And it tells us that sacrifices pays off. Ana decided to end things in Book 1, because she doesn't like getting hurt. Even I, cringe at anything even remotely painful. But in the succeeding books she made sacrifices. Her control for one – for the person who deserves it.

            In conclusion, the movie is okay. Not great, because a lot of the scenes were removed. The sex scenes were blurred to ensure that it passes censorship. Butts and Boobs were shown, nothing else. There is no clear ending – because it’s only Book 1. Those who did not read the book will come out of the cinema with a lot of questions in their mind. Those who read it in turn, will feel that it lacks all the juicy sex scenes. The director told the story in film the best way he can, given the limitations. It’s not grammy-pulitzer-emmy-whatever quality, but not too bad as well.

          As for the critics who are very keen on telling everybody how utterly disgusting the movie is, can we cut the crap and stop being hypocrites for a change? Sex is normal, heck, sex is good. It’s not something evil, or shameful or bad. With someone you love, it’s a special act too. It’s not done for the sole purpose of having children, it’s an act that expresses how you feel for that person. And the result – children – is a reminder of how beautiful that union can be.

          Again, this is what I think. I am not saying that the critics are right, nor are they wrong. I just believe that humans are given a brain to use and a mind to make decisions. Right or wrong, we are not in a position to judge. We are not perfect enough to tell someone that they are good or bad. The world would be better off if people would stop judging each other and start judging themselves. Be the best that you can be, help whomever you can. Don’t attack, it’s not polite.