My Promise to you.. Auntie Lee
I have always been weak when it comes to the emotional aspects of life. While I easily smile at simple things and laugh out loud at the silly stuff, I have never been known to say I love you in usual circumstances.. or hug someone just because I feel like hugging. A lot of times I wanted to hug you, or tell you I love you.. but I don't. It's always been hard for me to express myself in words, so I've decided to write my thoughts down.. in the hope that I would get it to you, while I still can.
I grew up knowing that I am loved. Your constant presence and support all throughout my life has been a guiding light during chaotic events.. A constant source of strength when things get too much.. and a beam of color during dark times. You had never been bossy, or domineering or boastful. You are just you.. masungit at times, suplada on most days, but someone who loves us with the generous heart and spirit that only you can give. And because of that, I am very lucky indeed.
I remember the times when you were just a young girl yourself. Instead of going out with friends and enjoying the life of a single woman, you were there taking care of us. Teaching me my first ABCs, swatting my hand while teaching me cursive writing, helping me with my assignments and putting me to bed. While other 20-something girls were out exploring the world, you were there assisting us to take our first steps, watching us draw our first stick figures, taking us to school, giving us baths. While other girls with new jobs were spending their money on lipsticks, you were going straight home from work with pasalubong that you were not required to buy, but did anyway. All that, you were not required to do.. but did wholeheartedly without asking for anything in return.
I remember when you were supposed to be falling in love with the first gwapo you meet, you were instead picking out men that you know would accept us, your extended family. You chose to marry at an older age, when we were old enough not to need your help anymore. But never once, even after you have created a family of your own, did we feel that you left us. You are always there, always a permanent fixture.. always my Auntie Lee.
At a time when we were just starting to build families of our own, you were always there to give us support both financially and emotionally. At a time when you were supposed to be scraping every penny for your own family's needs, you are still giving importance to a sick apo, a pamangkin's needs for employment expenses, for hospital bills, for medicines. You have never closed your hand to our needs, sometimes forsaking your own. You sometimes walk miles at a time because you wanted to save transport expenses, but you never once looked at price tags for gifts you give to us, or to our children.
Even now, you are quick to volunteer your help in babysitting our little kids. You always keep a stash of biscuits and small treats, for the rare occassions that we come to visit. You pick out christmas gifts based on each kid's individual interests, because you make sure that you know what they like. And even now, you attend graduation ceremonies, recognition days.. even small school programs where our children perform. Just like you did when we were little, you celebrate our kids' successes, and worry when they are sick. Just like us, you are their Auntie Lee too.
You were always telling me that any good deed I do will come back to me tenfold. You are right. There are a million good things that you have done, not one of them I have forgotten, and all of them I want to give back. I know that I am not the only one because my sisters all received the same kindness and generous spirit from you, and all of them remembers, just like I do.
I want to give back not because I have a debt to pay, nor because I want the blessing to come back to me tenfold. I want you to feel cherished, because that was what you made us feel. I want you to know that you are loved, because you gave us more unconditional love than anyone is capable of giving in their entire lifetime. I want to let you know that the things you did for us made us what we are today. Your influence and presence in our lives is something that no amount of money can buy. The time you gave us cannot be repaid nor replaced. There is only one you, only one Auntie Lee.. and we will forever be grateful for that.
So know this, because this is my promise. When the time comes that you need me, I will be there in whatever form, manner or mode I am needed. When it's my time, I will move heaven and earth to give you everything you need. Not only out of gratitude, but out of love. You taught me to love unconditionally, and I have put that lesson to heart. You will feel my presence, as I have felt yours. I will be your strength, as you have been mine. Nothing can stop me from being what you need me to be. I promise you that.
I only pray that I can be you in my lifetime. That I inherit your strength, and your heart. That I can be as selfless as you are, as generous as you had always been. I will try my best to be like you. But deep inside my heart, I know, I can never replace you. You are, and will always be, our one and only Auntie Lee.
I grew up knowing that I am loved. Your constant presence and support all throughout my life has been a guiding light during chaotic events.. A constant source of strength when things get too much.. and a beam of color during dark times. You had never been bossy, or domineering or boastful. You are just you.. masungit at times, suplada on most days, but someone who loves us with the generous heart and spirit that only you can give. And because of that, I am very lucky indeed.
I remember the times when you were just a young girl yourself. Instead of going out with friends and enjoying the life of a single woman, you were there taking care of us. Teaching me my first ABCs, swatting my hand while teaching me cursive writing, helping me with my assignments and putting me to bed. While other 20-something girls were out exploring the world, you were there assisting us to take our first steps, watching us draw our first stick figures, taking us to school, giving us baths. While other girls with new jobs were spending their money on lipsticks, you were going straight home from work with pasalubong that you were not required to buy, but did anyway. All that, you were not required to do.. but did wholeheartedly without asking for anything in return.
I remember when you were supposed to be falling in love with the first gwapo you meet, you were instead picking out men that you know would accept us, your extended family. You chose to marry at an older age, when we were old enough not to need your help anymore. But never once, even after you have created a family of your own, did we feel that you left us. You are always there, always a permanent fixture.. always my Auntie Lee.
At a time when we were just starting to build families of our own, you were always there to give us support both financially and emotionally. At a time when you were supposed to be scraping every penny for your own family's needs, you are still giving importance to a sick apo, a pamangkin's needs for employment expenses, for hospital bills, for medicines. You have never closed your hand to our needs, sometimes forsaking your own. You sometimes walk miles at a time because you wanted to save transport expenses, but you never once looked at price tags for gifts you give to us, or to our children.
Even now, you are quick to volunteer your help in babysitting our little kids. You always keep a stash of biscuits and small treats, for the rare occassions that we come to visit. You pick out christmas gifts based on each kid's individual interests, because you make sure that you know what they like. And even now, you attend graduation ceremonies, recognition days.. even small school programs where our children perform. Just like you did when we were little, you celebrate our kids' successes, and worry when they are sick. Just like us, you are their Auntie Lee too.
You were always telling me that any good deed I do will come back to me tenfold. You are right. There are a million good things that you have done, not one of them I have forgotten, and all of them I want to give back. I know that I am not the only one because my sisters all received the same kindness and generous spirit from you, and all of them remembers, just like I do.
I want to give back not because I have a debt to pay, nor because I want the blessing to come back to me tenfold. I want you to feel cherished, because that was what you made us feel. I want you to know that you are loved, because you gave us more unconditional love than anyone is capable of giving in their entire lifetime. I want to let you know that the things you did for us made us what we are today. Your influence and presence in our lives is something that no amount of money can buy. The time you gave us cannot be repaid nor replaced. There is only one you, only one Auntie Lee.. and we will forever be grateful for that.
So know this, because this is my promise. When the time comes that you need me, I will be there in whatever form, manner or mode I am needed. When it's my time, I will move heaven and earth to give you everything you need. Not only out of gratitude, but out of love. You taught me to love unconditionally, and I have put that lesson to heart. You will feel my presence, as I have felt yours. I will be your strength, as you have been mine. Nothing can stop me from being what you need me to be. I promise you that.
I only pray that I can be you in my lifetime. That I inherit your strength, and your heart. That I can be as selfless as you are, as generous as you had always been. I will try my best to be like you. But deep inside my heart, I know, I can never replace you. You are, and will always be, our one and only Auntie Lee.
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