I'm never going to be like you...

I will never be a nagger. I will wait until my children do their homework on their own. I will never punish them for not washing the dishes. I will let them choose the clothes that they want to wear. I will never be like my mother -- or so I thought.
My mother married and had kids at a very young age. While raising us, she was also growing up herself. She juggled school and taking care of 6 children at the same time. She had to grow up really fast... And I don’t envy her hardships.

When I was young, I didn't understand why homework needs to be done at the exact time that she tells us to. I rebelled at having to stay home while my sisters go to parties. I didn't like being put into pigtails and frilly frocks. And I didn’t understand her “No TV on school nights” rule.

I did not realize that study habits are needed to establish self discipline early on in a child. That washing the dishes meant teaching your kids a sense of responsibility. I found out only when I turned 18 that freedom comes with the maturity of knowing right from wrong and that t-shirt and jeans are not called "formal dress."

When my own kid started school, I nag until he starts working on his homework. When he spends so much time playing, I tell him to go home and I lock his bike so he can't use it. I sit in front of the sink with a leather belt on my hand to make sure that he washes the dishes. When I think about it… I am doing the exact same things that my mom did when I was a child.

One doesn't really fully realize the importance of "because mom says so" until they grow up and became parents. You do not know the self-sacrifices that they do until you are faced with it. And you do not understand the hardships they encounter until you start getting the same headaches.

I really thought my mom was doing it all wrong. That she was exaggerating on the bad things that are outside our front doors. I thought the books at home were just additional stuff to dust and clean. That her "no TV on school nights" rule was inconsiderate and unfair. I did not realize that all her thoughts, all her actions, all her decisions... were centered on ensuring that her kids will someday make the right decisions.

Looking back, maybe she did the right things. Maybe she had the right reasons for the unreasonable things that she did. She wanted the best things for her kids, same way that I want the best things for my own children. Maybe she is right this whole time. Because if she's not, I may not be what I am today.

I vowed a long time ago that I am never going to be like my mother. But now that I think about it, I hope that I get to be like her and accomplish at least half of what she had done for me. Because now that I have grown up, I found out that she was right this whole time.